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Ranty McRanterson. - RJ's LJ - WTF is my way of life.
I've been on the 'net longer that some of you've been ALIVE.
arjei
arjei
Ranty McRanterson.
After nearly three decades on this planet, dealing with whatever life has tossed at me, (Whether it was my fault or not.) I would like to believe that I have become somewhat knowledgeable and/or opinionated on somethings. War, peace, money, yada yada yada. But I'm a quite, resevered kind of guy, and usually someone else says what I would've said anyway. However, one thing does come up every so often that makes me go "... Okay, I want to say something about this, regardless of what has came before." And this thing came to the front yet again, and since it currently has the religious right is frothing at the mouth but Phelps and the WBC brood hasn't crawl out from under their rock yet...

Here is Robert Jason Bachler's (aka: ME) stance on homosexuality.

... Why should you give a crap what is happening in someone's bed if you are not in it?

Seriously, if two or more consenting adults were drilling for love, and I was in he same bed, I'd be kind of pissed. Either because I was trying to sleep, or I wasn't involved with the sex. If they're not in the same sleeping apparatus as you, there's really no reason to be care... Unless you have paper thin walls, and that's a whole different thing to be pissed about.

Note: I said consenting adults. If someone is raping someone else, or screwing a kid, then you should care what the hell is going on. But if it's a 30 year old woman and a 70 year old guy, or two 20-something guys, or a couple of 50+ women going at it because they love each other, then stay out of it.

"Oh, but it's wrong! And it my duty as a proper Christian and an upstanding citizen to deter it!"

No, you want to see what's going on in someone else's bed. That's not being a "proper Christian" or a "upstanding American." That makes you peeping tom, which classifies you as a fucking pervert.

Besides, does anyone gay want to know what's going on in a straight couple's bed? Most likely not.

"Oh, but they are the GAY. And they might spread the GAY to others. And then it will be a GAY epidemic!"

Oh God, not the GAY! That means I may get a decent floral arrangement in my living room! And it'll be all the GAY's fault for beautifying my stuff!

A disease is usually caused by some outside influence. Cancer causing thing, radiation, bacteria... So is the GAY a virii with leather chaps on? A homoray? (Maybe there is one to test the Gaydar... ;p) I mean come on, a disease either had or has the chance of killing someone. And when's the last time you've heard someone dying simply because they were gay? ... Well, minus the hate crimes.

However, I'm going to call in gay to work one day. "Yeah... I can't come in today. I'm not feeling to good, I think I got a little gay. Doc said stay at home, I don't want anyone else getting gay. Got to drink plenty of fluids, watch some football, maybe UFC and the Die Hard series. I should be nice, straight, and testosterone enraged by tomorrow. Oh, and yellow's not really working for the office."

"Oh, but the gay will be out in the streets!"

... Doing what? The same exact stuff their doing without the rights. Which is nothing illegal, so nothing is really going to change. You're fretting over a possibility that's impossible.

Oh, and if yo want to go with the "Fuck in public" route... Well guess what Win-Dixie? If you start fucking in full view of the public on public property, straight or not, you're probably going to get arrest for banging holes in front of everyone.

"Ah, but look at NOLA and Katrina! New Orleans was almost wiped of the map because of that sinful celebration that was about to happen!"

Y'know, when I actually heard that, one question ran through my head.

"... they moved up Marti Gras?" Really, Southern Decadence is just the gay and less crowded version. Because all Marti Gras is really is drunk and fucking.... Oh, and music and beads. But mostly the drunk and fucking. Both gay AND straight. So if you want to concentrate on the sinful celebration, let's go for the bigger one first.

"But God doesn't like the GAY."

Hey, let me clue you in on something...

God doesn't really like it when you attach his name to stupid shit. Hell, he put it as the second checkmark on his big stone tablets of "Ten rules for being a follower of my Omnipotent ass. By: G-0-dizzle." Yeah, that "Thou shall not take the Lord's name in vain, lest ye be pwned, you punk-ass bitches."

*Ahem* From the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
Vain:
Pronunciation: 'vAn
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French, from Latin vanus empty, vain
1 : having no real value : IDLE, WORTHLESS
2 : marked by futility or ineffectualness : UNSUCCESSFUL, USELESS
3 : archaic : FOOLISH, SILLY
4 : having or showing undue or excessive pride in one's appearance or achievements : CONCEITED

I would shove hate under the first three definitions. So "God hates fags"? Hey, there's some using of the Lord's name in vain! See you on the lower levels Westboro!

And hey, look, the GOP threw around God's name during the '04 elections, and... Well, you've all seen what's happened since then. Or you can Google for it. Unless you're with Fox News, then it means Google's a part of the liberal agenda.

"But we have to protect the sanctity of marriage."

... HAVE YOUR SEEN THE DIVORCE RATE LATELY? In '05, the marriage rate was 7.6 for every 1,000 people. the divorce rate was 3.6/1,000. To break it down even further: For every 19 marriages, there are 9 divorces. Just less than half. So if you really want to do that whole preserving the sanctity of marriage thing, then you better also put in the part that makes people unable to undo it once it's done on top of the no same sex part.

Besides, people pulled that shit when interracial marriages started to happen. And that shit was shot down. The only person who is able to tell you who you can and cannot love is yourself. No one else.

"But what about the church?!"

......................... What about the church? Maybe you missed the whole separation of church and state in the constitution, but I didn't. Because that thing allows religion to play by some of it's own rules. They don't allow you to eat meat on Fridays? Fine. Women not allowed to drive? Fine. Gay's not allowed in? FINE. You see, religion is kind of like a club: You have to play by their rules to be a part of it. And if they don't allow gays, then they don't. They may allow some people to touch 8-year-old boys and hide it, but not gays.

Besides, the US doesn't have a set religion. There's a majority of it's population that sides with a certain religion, but America itself does not. Because back in 1620, a bunch of people that were getting fucked around in Europe because of their believes told everyone over there to go fuck themselves with the plague, came here, went "Religious freedom FUCK YEAH!" (Later adapted to "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!") And the guys who 150+ years later told England to go fuck themselves with the plague OUR PLACE NOW CUNTS decided to keep that idea going.

"But the gays are taking away my freedoms! I have to protect them!"

You know, there is only one way I can phrase this: ........ WHAT?!? No, really: What?!? You want to protect your rights by taking away the SAME rights from someone else that are guaranteed in the constitution because our founding fathers had the foresight to design it with the ability to be tweaked because they realized that the country will change with time all because they are not like you?

Easy sum-up: FUCKING RACIST/BIGOTRY.

Let me put it to you another way NOM: Whenever the first GBLT couple goes and get married in either Iowa or Vermont, (You can chose.) you can stand between them and the courthouse doors and chant "Segregation now, segregation tomorrow and segregation forever!" Because that what it's kind of coming across as.

Oh, and to the "doctor" in that ad, (And the real one she's based on) I have just two words: Hippocratic Oath. Thankyoudrivethrough.

"But you're in the military! Aren't you worried about the gays there?"

Okay, if things start popping off and I'm in the middle of a firefight, do you think the guys on the other side will grant me a time out so I can switch people out? "Got to stop! He's gay!" I'll be dead before I blink.

In other words: The enemy's not going to give a fuck who they're shooting, so why should I give a fuck who's helping me shoot them?

Now maybe some of you haven't noticed, but the morals of America change. A lot. Let's take way back when the country was first founded. You couldn't vote unless you were a land-owning white man, blacks were considered property, the country barely extended beyond the Appalachians, and we fucking hated the British. It's been 230+ years since then. America is no longer like that. Hell, America's no longer like it was 10 years ago. Eventually, same sex marriage will happen, whether you like it or not. But if you want to stay in the past... fine. I would like to see the future and the whole flying car crap.

Oh, don't worry, you won't be alone. Ann Coulter likes staying in the past too, she'll keep you company. The only drawback is she'll try and turn you Christian. Whether you like it or not. ... Wait, the right's not living the past anymore? Because then they would have to take responsibility for the so-fucking-close-to-a-depression recession. But didn't they blame the prior administration for the '01 dotcom bubble burst? Oh, because that wasn't the GOP that did it. I get it now...

Okay, so you can live in the past and not be a part of it. But you still have to deal with Coulter.

... But what would letting homosexuals marry really do? Well, a gay married couple can get breaks on insurance and taxes and a load of other stuff. Which means more money in their pockets. Which means more money that can go into our very fucked-up economy. Thus maybe helping, just a little, to fix it. They can go out and bust their asses on other projects, like a park. And a fuckton of other things too. (I'm sure comments will help cover it.)

Besides, do you honestly think that banning gay marriage will stop them from being together? If you do, then stop bogarding your stuff man, because that is some kick-ass drug you got. Unless it's Jenkem. Then get the fuck away from me.

Well, that's it. Comments, criticism, pointing out typos & errors and laughing at my ass are all welcome.

... And if you think I'm afraid of backlash, let me say this: They don't have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison. ;p

- RJ, Cookie to whoever gets the ref.

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7 targets down / Shoot one off?
Comments
lassarina From: lassarina Date: April 13th, 2009 03:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I just about choked laughing at the commentary on the floral arrangement in your living room, for the record.

I basically agree with you 110%. What happens between two (or more!) consenting adults in a private space is their business not mine. If it makes you happy, have at it. No skin off my nose.

(Icon is completely tongue-in-cheek.)
axiszer0 From: axiszer0 Date: April 13th, 2009 05:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
O.o

Nicely put, though not a Christian myself.
Well done.
jboogie From: jboogie Date: April 13th, 2009 07:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
You get a terrorist fist bump from me, good sir. *DAP!*
colley From: colley Date: April 13th, 2009 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
This.
arex From: arex Date: April 13th, 2009 09:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cool story, bro. I agree 100%. Too bad people most of the masses are full of dumb and confusion though.

Social change is so terrible because no one is thinking about Jesus or the children!
degreeabsolute From: degreeabsolute Date: April 13th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
"I gotta admit, I kinda like the Wrigley Field bit."
"Yeah. Real cute."
eibii From: eibii Date: April 14th, 2009 12:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
RTFO, man.
7 targets down / Shoot one off?